Well this post is happening faster than I expected. I knew my Father in Law would be a main topic of conversation but I didn't realize on post #2. For those who do not know he is Bat Shit Crazy AND he lives in a seprate area of our house. Roger added it on - he can't get in our place or us his without using the front door but ANY in-laws or even parents that close make you want to put a gun in your mouth...now add crazy as fuck to the mix and Viola you have 8494 Eureka Street!
I am very good at exaggeration but I PROMISE you none of the below is in ANYWAY an exaggeration.
Today is Thursday. I have received 7 texts messages from him, 2 emails, 1 phone call and saw him outside earlier today. What is so important you ask? Ummmmmm not a damn thing. But what did he want to tell you you ask? Ummmmmm well 1 of the 2 page emails was to let me know that he is going to Wisconsin to visit his sister MAY 23 - July 21. Ok no big deal - so noted. Email 2 was also 2 pages and letting me know everything I need to do while he is gone (sidenote - he has no pets, lives in 550 sqft, never leaves the house but to go surf) so what I read was a lot of words that ended up saying 'water my 2 plants' and blah blah blah shuttle to airport, cover for car, blah blah blah and he's not leaving for 3 months!!!!!!!!!!!
The text messages wanted to let me know he sent above mentioned emails and what they were about and also the boys can't come up and play with him because his 'crazy' meds make him constapated so he needs to go to the store to buy product for that and then he'll be "sick". Oh thank you so much for telling me about your ass problems! And I need to also add I get a text a week about something wrong with his ass. Its so gross and so uncalled for and I hate it!
The conversation outside was letting me know he was going to cut the grass and then 2 follow up texts asking 'if now was a good time to cut the grass' and 'don't worry I'll get to the grass in a bit'. I wasn't worried and I don't care about the stupid grass. I have enough to do besides answer my ending 'bing-ing' phone letting me know his butt is bleeding, he walked into a wall, will buy vitamin E for the plants (what?), has a cold, has a headache, has a runny nose, has a cough, has to go to the store, hasn't pooped all week, he has a dr apt, a shrink apt, a VA apt, a chiropractor apt, and might surf at noon...no wait now I won't surf because I'm out of breath from climbing the stairs.
I pray with Sully at night but I don't think I'm qualified for real prayers that actually get heard so if you do pray will you pray for me please because I have to live with this the rest of my life and I'm on the verge of a bloody freak out!
Well...at least he doesn't text this from his wife's phone because he is too cheap to put text on his own phone like my FIL does!!!
ReplyDelete