I am no expert in child rearing BY ANY MEANS and I am not now nor have ever claimed to be....but....being around people who have never had kids almost makes me want to punch something (only when the topic of kids are discussed).
Let take a look back in time.......
I always like most kids. I never envisioned NOT being a mother and I was going to do it right and better than anyone. My kid was not going to stand up in his bench seat at a restaurant. He was not going to cry endlessly on a plane. He was not going to answer the phone then walk away and forget he answered it and I was going to be aware of what was going on so that when he did answer the phone I would be RIGHT there to take over. What I never took into account is that fact I might have to pee at some point and the phone might ring or I might just pretend I have to pee and lock myself in the bathroom for a moment alone.
There was a time I was stuffy and uptight and snobbish and annoyed by everyone. I was a bitch and I hate looking back on that person. I had lots of money, a great job, a great place to live and great clothes. Was I happy - Hell fucking yes I was happy. I was drinking expensive wine EVERY NIGHT. Eating at the best restaurants and buying $800 shoes without blinking.
Fast forward to this exact moment. I'm in the tank top I slept in (its 6:55pm), old Juicy sweat pants and a hoodie roger bought me at a time it was nice to wear smaller things. My socks don't match (cuz I just grabbed two knee socks in the dark) and my hair is a bloody mess. Am I just as happy? The appropriate answer is YES! But the reality is - I can't even compare this life with the one before. You can't compare working 80 hours a week and sleeping in and having no one to care for other than you to three kids, a husband, a home, real true friends, discount clothes and a job with no paycheck.
If a fairy came to me tonight while I was sleeping and said - pick a life - wealthy with no responsibility or getting by with more responsibility than you can even fathom I would take the later every day and twice on Sunday. That is what is so frustrating for me when I see someone with no kids try and judge a woman who has given up her career, life and money to be home for no other reason but because she wants to. Or to hear someone say "ugh, just get a nanny so you have some time for yourself." I want to scream at them you love yourself right now and I think that is awesome. Your shoes are so pretty and your clothes are beautiful . You travel and you say no matter what you are putting those kids on a plane and you are living the life you did before. Awesome. I wish you the best. But when you kid starts screaming and throwing cookie on the floor and his tiny body into the aisle then remember that little voice that said "I will never have a kid that throws a shit fit on the plane".
I'm judgemental I admit. Anyone who isn't is no friend of mine - and that is because we all have that judging voice in our head - its the ones that turns to me and tells me what that little voice says is the one I want to be with. The one that can look past the bad stuff that we all think and be real and share. Cuz here is the deal....WE ALL THINK IT.....and its sad to me when someone can't be true and share it because they are concerned what others think....but heres the deal - if you have the right people in your life they are already thinking it or saying it so you know you found the right crowd.
The endless battle of life with kids vs life without is a stupid one. You do whats best for you but stop pretending you know what its like to be so tired you crawl in bed at 8:00 each night and stop being pissed because someone does and it cuts into your life.
