Hello My Name is CRAZY

Well this post is happening faster than I expected. I knew my Father in Law would be a main topic of conversation but I didn't realize on post #2. For those who do not know he is Bat Shit Crazy AND he lives in a seprate area of our house. Roger added it on - he can't get in our place or us his without using the front door but ANY in-laws or even parents that close make you want to put a gun in your mouth...now add crazy as fuck to the mix and Viola you have 8494 Eureka Street!
I am very good at exaggeration but I PROMISE you none of the below is in ANYWAY an exaggeration.

Today is Thursday. I have received 7 texts messages from him, 2 emails, 1 phone call and saw him outside earlier today. What is so important you ask? Ummmmmm not a damn thing. But what did he want to tell you you ask? Ummmmmm well 1 of the 2 page emails was to let me know that he is going to Wisconsin to visit his sister MAY 23 - July 21. Ok no big deal - so noted. Email 2 was also 2 pages and letting me know everything I need to do while he is gone (sidenote - he has no pets, lives in 550 sqft, never leaves the house but to go surf) so what I read was a lot of words that ended up saying 'water my 2 plants' and blah blah blah shuttle to airport, cover for car, blah blah blah and he's not leaving for 3 months!!!!!!!!!!!
The text messages wanted to let me know he sent above mentioned emails and what they were about and also the boys can't come up and play with him because his 'crazy' meds make him constapated so he needs to go to the store to buy product for that and then he'll be "sick". Oh thank you so much for telling me about your ass problems! And I need to also add I get a text a week about something wrong with his ass. Its so gross and so uncalled for and I hate it!
The conversation outside was letting me know he was going to cut the grass and then 2 follow up texts asking 'if now was a good time to cut the grass' and 'don't worry I'll get to the grass in a bit'. I wasn't worried and I don't care about the stupid grass. I have enough to do besides answer my ending 'bing-ing' phone letting me know his butt is bleeding, he walked into a wall, will buy vitamin E for the plants (what?), has a cold, has a headache, has a runny nose, has a cough, has to go to the store, hasn't pooped all week, he has a dr apt, a shrink apt, a VA apt, a chiropractor apt, and might surf at noon...no wait now I won't surf because I'm out of breath from climbing the stairs.

I pray with Sully at night but I don't think I'm qualified for real prayers that actually get heard so if you do pray will you pray for me please because I have to live with this the rest of my life and I'm on the verge of a bloody freak out! 

Me, Myself and I

Like I've mentioned I've always wanted to write a book and I've started a few times but then after a few pages I think this is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever read and who really gives a shit? So I erase and thats it...I'm not really sure what I'm suppose to write about...the insanely obvious? I guess. How I don't understand this Mom at the boys school that I am on the verge of obsessed with because she is incapable of getting out of her car and walking her children into school by herself! I swear!!!! I have sat in my car and watched her and she pulls up, slowly gets out - constantly looking around - awaiting her other Mom friends to arrive and as soon as one does she hurries to get her kids out and rushes over and LITERALLY stands and waits for her friend to unload. And she does this EVERYDAY!!!!!
I saw her one day at this Indoor Jump place and dear God she was alone and I couldn't resist so I walked over and said 'are you meeting anyone here?' knowing full well she just had to be and sure as shit she mumbled 'yes...mumble mumble mumble'. WTF is being alone that hard for some people. I get all itchy at the thought of even knowing her (and by knowing I mean I smile politely but I have no stinking clue her name or kids names). She bugs me but not in a pissy way - in a obsessed way where I can't stop watching her make an insecure ass of herself. I love it!

I think sometimes I'm a nice person but then I re-read what I just wrote and I think Geez you are such a bitch you better stop writing this because someone is going to read this and you aren't going to look like such a nice person. Oh Well...guess that's OK.

Roger is bloody sick again. I'm staring to wonder if he's really sick or if he has a NyQuil addiction. He talks about NyQuil more than a normal person should. Tonight he took a hot bath and dosed up then crawled in bed, made a few groaning noises and body twitches and hasn't moved since.
I love being married. I love the security and openness and laughter that goes in to it but Holy Shit if you don't have a good sense of humor it's never going to last! After I put the boys down I gave Bridget a quick bath and then got dressed for bed and looked in the mirror - I am currently wearing brown long underwear and a grey long sleeved top - nothing fancy BUT as I was getting dressed and shoving my nasty nursing boobs into a stretched out, ugly ass nursing bra and putting in hot ass breast pads I saw my long underwear pulled up way over my bellybutton which made my ass look like it started in the middle of my back and I walked over to Roger and rubbed up against him and asked if he wanted some of this hot ass! He turned, checked out my outfit which at this time was just the bra and long underwear and said 'ummmm no. I'll pass.' His loss sucka!